Anyway, here's where things stand. When I tried to make an appointment with the fertility clinic, I couldn't even get a real person on the phone. Instead I got a phone message to leave my name, number and address and they will send me paperwork that I need to fill out before I get an appointment. So I waited for it, filled it out, and then at the end it said to mail it back and they will schedule me for a seminar that I need to attend before getting an appointment. Still no discussion with a real person. Then they called today... a REAL person... to schedule the seminar. Basically I was told that this seminar is mandatory because it explains all our fertility treatment "options". Hmmm... options... she made it sound like I was buying a new car. Also, we will apparently be receiving a requisition for all the tests that they're going to run after the seminar on March 4th. Apparently they decide what tests we need by my paperwork and I don't actually get to talk to a real doctor until we get the results back. Kinda of impersonal, don't you think. Especially considering the personal nature of the issue.
Most of the time I'm pretty at peace about this whole deal. I mean... I have an amazing husband that loves me and supports me. I have a wonderful (although slightly "willful" at times) little girl who is an absolute joy for Steve and I. And we're all relatively healthy! So, worst case scenario, that's the hand that is dealt to me. Not a bad hand at all! But then, once in a while, I just dream about having another baby or two. It just feels like our family isn't complete yet. And that makes me sad. Thankfully I have a strong faith in God. I KNOW that He has wonderful things in store for us, although they may not be the things I would choose. I KNOW that His timing is way better than I could ever plan. But sometimes my intellect doesn't match up with my emotion. I want to trust God with this issue. And most of the time... I can. But not all the time.
Anyway, I'll let you all know how the process goes. I know most people wouldn't share these kinds of issues on their blog, but I figure I'm not the only woman out there dealing with this stuff. And it's an important part of our life right now. Keep us in your prayers!
5 comments:
I will keep you in my prayers Amy I don't know exactly how you feel but definitely close! Hang in there and let me know if there is anything else that I can do to help! I'm thankful for your sharing so I can know how to pray:) These blogs are a great resource!
Amy, I wish I was courageous enough to blog about my struggles! Seriously, I admire you for that. I will definitely be praying for you. I know it's tough - I've definitely had my share of tearfilled nights. You know how to reach me if you want to chat.
Hang in there Amy! I am thinking of you andpraying for you and here for you when you need me!
Amy, I feel for your struggles. I have to say I have been quite impressed with how strong you've been through the past 8-9 months. I'm glad you can admit that you have normal human emotions as well. It's only natural to be upset from time to time and even question God's timing. I wish the fertility people could be more personal and understand what a sensitive issue this is for people. We'll definitely be praying for you guys.
Amy
I just want to thank you for being so honest. It is through your honesty that gives me the courage to continue to be honest with others as well as myself. I will continue to pray for you. Tommy is really good about reminding me too, so I will get him in on the loop. See you Wednesday
Kristina
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